Death Chat
by xYuzuki-Tachiox
Summary: A random chat with the Death Note Characters. What could go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. :)

Notes: I wanted to do one. For a few reasons.

1. I was bored.

2. I've been reading many other fics like this.

3. I love Death Note.

3 good reasons. :D

Enjoy the chaos!

* * *

**Death Chat: **

* * *

_*ImNotKira43 has signed in*_

_*ImNotKira43 has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**ImNotKira43:**

What the hell was that all about, Ryuzaki?

:/

**No.1_Detective:**

What?

All I did was sneak into your house and eat the last piece of cake.

I see no harm in that.

_*I3Light has signed in*_

_*I3Light has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**I3Light:**

That's called being a stalker!

**No.1_Detective:**

…

Look who's talking...

**I3Light:**

(

What's that supposed to mean?

_*AppleEater4Evr has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**AppleEater4Evr:**

Hyuk, hyuk.

**No.1_Detective:**

Who are you?

?_?

**ImNotKira43:**

He's a DOUCHE for stealing my computer.

Now all I have is my sister's pink one.

**AppleEater4Evr:**

Hey!

/

You're the one who wouldn't give me an apple!

**No.1_Detective:**

Seriously.

Who are you, AppleEater?

**ImNotKira43:**

He's a friend, his name is Ryuk.

**No.1_Detective:**

Oh.

Nice to meet you, Ryuk.

Any friend of Yagami-kun's is a friend of mine.

**AppleEater4Evr:**

Nice to meetchya too.

:D

**I3Light:**

So, Ryuzaki...

**No.1_Detective:**

What is it, Amane-san?

**I3Light:**

What is the deal with the handcuffs thing?

**ImNotKira43:**

Why must you keep asking that, Misa?

**I3Light:**

Because, Light-kun belongs to Misa!

)

**ImNotKira43:**

For the last time.

I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!

**I3Light:**

:'(

_*I3Light has signed out*_

**AppleEater4Evr:**

Heartless, Light.

_*Willy_Fuckin_Wonka has signed in*_

_*Willy_Fuckin_Wonka_ _has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Who's heartless?

**No.1_Detective:**

Who are you?

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

:O

It's me!

Mello!

**ImNotKira43:**

Oh.

Hey...aren't you dead?

**No.1_Detective:**

Yes, and aren't you and I both supposed to be dead as well, Yagami-kun?

**ImNotKira43:**

I don't get this.

_*BadAssGamer has signed in*_

_*BadAssGamer_ _has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**BadAssGamer:**

Yo!

**ImNotKira43:**

Who are you?

**BadAssGamer:**

I'm Justin Timberlake.

:)

Love me~!

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

For the last time, Matt...

YOU'RE NOT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!

**BadAssGamer: **

:'(

I am too!

**No.1_Detective:**

Who's Justin Timberlake?

**ImNotKira43:**

-_-''

Never mind that.

Why the hell do you random people show up?

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Forget that.

Why is your name so defensive?

**ImNotKira43:**

I don't know what your talking about.

**BadAssGamer:**

-giggles-

I have an idea.

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

What?

**BadAssGamer:**

I know how to get Kira!

**No.1_Detective:**

Do tell.

**ImNotKira43: **

This I gotta see.

**BadAssGamer:**

Hey, Kira! :O

**ImNotKira43:**

What?

**No.1_Detective:**

…

.

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

…

O.O

**AppleEater4Evr:**

… O.o

**ImNotKira43:**

Um...

I have to go.

_*ImNotKira43 has signed out*_

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

I hate to say this...but...

You know...that wasn't a bad idea.

**No.1_Detective:**

Agreed.

If only we would've thought of that.

Way to go, Matt.

**BadAssGamer:**

-giggles-

Thank you~!

:D

AND IN THE END...

THE HOTTEST MINOR CHARACTER SAVES THE DAY!

**AppleEater4Evr:**

Wow.

_*AppleEater4Evr has signed out*_

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

I wonder why he left?

**BadAssGamer: **

Who knows?

* * *

Light growled. "DAMMIT! I DIED ONCE ALREADY! I CAN'T DIE AGAIN!" he slammed his fist on his desk.

Ryuk chuckled.

"Light, I hate to say this, but you just got PWNED." He cackled his awful Shinigami laugh.

"Oh shut it!" Light yelled.

* * *

The End.

Notes: I know. Kinda lame, right? Lol. And yes, it is a simple way to get Kira. Everyone is using it. Hope you liked. Review, and maybe I'll put more up.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. :)

Notes: More to ease your and my own boredom. Thanks to my friends who always tend to write crappy stuff on Myspace IM!

* * *

**Death Chat**

**PART 2: **

_*ChildOfTheRobot has signed in*_

_*ChildOfTheRobot has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

Hm...

I hear that Matt caught Kira.

**BadAssGamer:**

Awwww!

:'')

Did you come to congratulate me, Near?

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

No.

You really didn't catch him.

I did.

Remember?

You died.

**BadAssGamer:**

:O

What?

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

Do you not know?

**No.1_Detective:**

Know what?

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

…

You are all dead.

_*Willy_Fuckin_Wonka has signed in*_

_*Willy_Fuckin_Wonka has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Oh shut up, Near.

Just because we're dead, doesn't mean we can't get on Myspace.

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

I didn't die.

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

You did too...

In my mind!

:D

**BadAssGamer:**

Oooohhhh.

Near got dissed.

**No.1_Detective:**

I don't get it.

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

The only thing to know is that Mello is an idiot.

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

(

I'm not an idiot!

I risked my life to help you catch Kira!

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

That is true, but...

You still are an idiot.

**BadAssGamer:**

Awww.

Can't you feel the love?

:D

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Does this look like love to you, Matt?

**BadAssGamer:**

…

Yes.

_*ImNotKira43 has signed in*_

_*ImNotKira43 has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**ImNotKira43:**

I hate all of you.

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Oh shut the fuck up, Kira.

**ImNotKira43:**

I'm NOT Kira!

**BadAssGamer:**

Ah.

He's in the denial stage.

**ImNotKira43:**

I HATE YOU, ESPEICALLY YOU.

**BadAssGamer:**

Awwwww~! :)

I love you too!

:*

**ImNotKira43: **

I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU ALL DIE...

AGAIN!

**BadAssGamer:**

Wow.

He loves us so much, he can't wait to spend all of our lives together!

No.1_Detective:

99.9%...

_*ImNotKira43 is busy, leave a message.*_

**BadAssGamer: **

I wonder where he went?

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

Obviously, to try to kill you, Matt.

**BadAssGamer:**

But if I'm dead, and he's dead...how can he kill me?

O_O

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

BULLSHEET.

These random people on Youtube making me sound like a crazy mother fucker!

_*Willy_Fuckin_Wonka has sent a video link to BadAssGamer*_

_*BadAssGamer has ignored the video link*_

**BadAssGamer: **

Hey, I got bigger issues.

Someone's trying to kill me.

And all you got is being mixed up in an episode Spongebob.

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

But they make me look like a FUCKING psychopath!

Notice **'FUCKING**' is capitalized!

I know I like chocolate, but I don't fuckin' murder for it!

**BadAssGamer:**

Ummm...

Remember Edward?

The guy who 'supposedly' fucked with your chocolate stash back in the Mafia?

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

HE WAS ASKING FOR IT!

Besides.

Bitch-ass touched my chocolate bars.

And I know that son of a bitch could read the sign that said in big red letters: "DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH MY STASH."

**BadAssGamer: **

...so...

You shot his brains out.

His brain thingy strings were hanging out of his head.

His brain guts were all over the freaking floor.

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Really?

Didn't notice.

**BadAssGamer:**

Umm...and you made Ross clean it up...because the other members were stepping on it, and spreading it on the new purple carpet...and you made Ross...

Clean it...

With his bare hands...

It was pretty damn gross.

:D

**ChildOfTheRobot:**

…

I'm leaving.

_*ChildOfTheRobot has signed out*_

**BadAssGamer:**

Hey, L, why've you been so quiet?

L...?

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Ah, he probably went to get cake and forgot to turn off his computer.

* * *

L smirked to himself, reaching into the cabinets, and a piece of wood barely stood up, and he pulled it out, revealing a safe box. He instantly clicked in the numbers and pulled the door open...

Only to reveal a stash of chocolate bars.

"Ahh...thank you Edward!" he spoke.

**-THE END**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. :)

Notes: Random.

A new DN character shows up...and you'll never guess who he is!

* * *

**Death Chat**

**PART 3: **

_***Jammy-Monster has signed in***_

_***Jammy-Monster has joined the 'Death Chat' room***_

**BadAssGamer:**

Hey, it's B.

:D Long time no talk!

**Jammy-Monster:**

What do you want, Matt?

To complain about how you can't get laid?

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Damn.

Someone's moody as hell today.

**Jammy-Monster:**

Yes. And guess why?

**BadAssGamer:**

Why?

**Jammy-Monster:**

I Googled myself today.

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

O_O

**BadASsGamer:**

And what did you get?

**Jammy-Monster:**

Pictures of an elderly woman.

-sigh-

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

That's fucking retarded. You Googled yourself? Am I the only one who thinks that sounds wrong?

**Jammy-Monster:**

Shut it, Mello.

No one asked you.

**BadAssGamer:**

Great, two PMSing women.

This is why I'll never get married.

_*Kira-Byatch has signed in*_

_*Kira-Byatch has joined the 'Death Chat' room*_

**Kira-Byatch:**

Hmph.

Imbeciles!

**BadAssGamer:**

Hey, Light! :3

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Dude. Your name is giving yourself away.

Dumbass.

**Kira-Byatch:**

So? I think the fact that is we're using computers in Nothingness.

I can't be touched.

**Jammy-Monster:**

You just figured that out?

**Kira-Byatch:**

...So?

Who the fuck are you anyways?

**Jammy-Monster:**

Your mom.

**Kira-Byatch:**

Fuck you, for your lame ass comeback.

**Jammy-Monster:**

It's best you do not know who I am, kiddo.

Adios.

_*Jammy-Monster has signed out*_

**BadAssGamer:**

Hm...I wonder...

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

What is it Matt?

**BadAssGamer:**

Since we have Myspace, and Google in the Nothingness...

I wonder if they have World At WarCraft!

I would be a fuzzy boy, indeed!

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

And for some reason,

I hope you find out there's no World At WarCraft here, and eventually shove a remote up your ass.

**BadAssGamer:**

D':

Douche bag!

_*BadAssGamer is away*_

_*BadAssGamer is online*_

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Find it?

**BadAssGamer:**

Excuse me, while I grab my remote. D':

**Willy_Fuckin_Wonka:**

Totally pwned.

**-THE END**


	4. Chapter 4

Well. Here's another one. Haha!

Just really random conversation. This is what my life is like. Enjoy.

I don't own Death Note.

* * *

_DEATH CHAT_

_PART FOUR_

* * *

_*DeathChat*_

_LOGGING IN..._

_*Kira-Byatch has signed in*_

Badass Gamer: Dude.

Skyrim is amazing.

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: Yeah...

You're a Nard, big whoop!

Badass Gamer: IT'S NORD.

CITZENS OF SKYRIM.

GOSH.

Kira-Byatch: FAP.

Badass Gamer: Whoa.

Someone's gettin freaking in the club!

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: What?

All he said was fap.

Badass Gamer: Ever heard of trolls?

Memes?

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: Well. I have plently more things to do in the the Nothingness.

Which is Nothing,

But sit here and type.

Pretend like I care.

Nothing.

Kira-Byatch: FOREVER ALONE.

Badass Gamer: :virginityface:

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: SPEAK ENGLISH, ASSHOLES.

No.1_Detective: That's just really unessasary.

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: Thank you, L!

No.1_Detective: Oh, I was talking about you.

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: What?

No.1_Detective: Doorbell rings while fapping.

KEEPS FAPPING.

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: STOP SAYNIG THAT.

Badass Gamer: It's perfectly natural!

ChildoftheRobot: Indeed.

Badass Gamer: ...

I don't know about you, Near.

ChildoftheRobot: What is that supposed to mean?

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: What is fap supposed to mean?

Badass Gamer: That noise you make while watching Inuyasha/Kagome hentai.

Willy_Fuckin_Wonka: ...

You will never UNDERSTAND.

_*Willy_Fuckin_Wonka has signed out*_

No.1_Detective: FOREVER ALONE.

Badass Gamer: He needs to get laid.

_*Mastu-Mastu has signed in*_

Mastu-Mastu: Who needs to get laid?

Badass Gamer: Mello.

To bad though.

No.1_Detevtive: Why is that?

Badass Gamer: I get more ass than a toilet seat.

:D

No.1_Detective: Lawls all around.

Kira-Byatch: GRAB ANKLES AND ACCEPT YOUR FATE.

Badass Gamer: ...

No.1_Detective: FAP.

**-THE END**


End file.
